Tea performing arts, tea terminology and translation, promote tea studies and innovations. *Contact ,icetea8@gmail.com, Trad. and Simp. Chinese used. Blog since 6/23/2005
Name: Steven R. Jones; Link: http://teaarts.blogspot.com/
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名字:瓊斯史迪芬Steven R. Jones, 網址: http://teaarts.blogspot.com/

1/02/2012

You know you've been in Taiwan too long when

Compiled from internet:
http://www.necessaryprose.com/toolongif.htm
http://ottoatm.blogspot.com/2007/10/you-know-youve-been-in-taiwan-too-long.html

You know you've been in Taiwan too long when...

  • 1. You can order the entire McDonald's menu in Chinese.
  • 2. You decide it makes more sense to drive a motorcycle instead of a car.
  • 3. More than one garment has been ruined by betel-nut spit.
  • 4. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.
  • 5. You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.
  • 6. Hsiaohsing Wine tastes good.
  • 7. You turn left from the right lane.
  • 8. 70 degrees Fahrenheit feels cold.
  • 9. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.
  • 10. "Squid" sounds better than "steak".
  • 11. You don't notice the smell.
  • 12. There are more things strapped to your motorcycle than you ever put in a car.
  • 13. Looking at a dog makes you hungry.
  • 14. You stop conjugating verbs.
  • 15. You drive on the shoulder to pass traffic.
  • 16. The main reason you stop at a 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.
  • 17. You expect a Chinese New Year's bonus.
  • 18. Firecrackers don't wake you up.
  • 19. You spend two hours and US$75 to go get potato skins and buffalo wings.
  • 20. You can distinguish Taiwanese from Hakka.
  • 21. Your family stops asking you when you'll be coming back.
  • 22. Taxi drivers are considered "good drivers".
  • 23. You withdraw your money from the bank during Chinese missile tests.
  • 24. Beer really isn't so expensive.
  • 25. You stop and look both ways before driving through a red light.
  • 26. "A", "an" and "the" aren't necessary parts of speech.
  • 27. You know when the next "big bai-bai" is.
  • 28. Smoking is one of the dinner courses.
  • 29. You don't mind when your date picks her/his nose in public.
  • 30. You wear out your horn before your brakes.
  • 31. The police call you to get information about other foreigners.
  • 32. You know which place has the best noodles & duck meat at 3:00 a.m.
  • 33. a) You (male) wear white socks with suits and black socks with tennis shorts.
  • b) You (female) wear socks with pantyhose in summer.
  • 34. People who knew you when you first arrived don't recognize you.
  • 35. You speak Chinese to your foreign friends.
  • 36. You own a karaoke machine.
  • 37. None of your shoes have laces.
  • 38. Chinese stop you on the street to ask for directions.
  • 39. You leave the plastic on new furniture.
  • 40. Forks feel strange.
  • 41. You can spot the differences between the China News and the China Post.
  • 42. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
  • 43. You wear blue rubber flip-flops at work.
  • 44. People don't see you for months, and when they do, they don't ask you where you've been.
  • 45. Your deodorant stick has cobwebs on it.
  • 46. You check that the karaoke machine is working before boarding a wild chicken bus.
  • 47. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.
  • 48. You stare at other foreigners.
  • 49. Over half of your clothes were bought at night markets.
  • 50. You become an expert on bug zappers: the best brands & where to get them.
  • 51. The majority of foreigners who have been in Taiwan longer than you are buried here.
  • 52. You find yourself saying, "Oh geez, not ANOTHER Year of the Rat."
  • 53. You know which turn signal should be on when driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
  • 54. You get homesick for Chinese food while away from Taiwan.
  • 55. Praying at a temple for a winning lottery number becomes a regular thing to do.
  • 56. It becomes a tradition that at least a part of Christmas dinner is stir-fried.
  • 57. Other foreigners give you a funny look when you tell them how long you've been here.
  • 58. You can't think of any good reason to leave.
  • 59. The Statute of Limitations has expired and you still don't go home.
  • 60. You understand that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for "Stop speaking bad Mandarin and leave me alone."
  • 61. Passing a construction site, you realize metal scaffolding is much more dangerous than bamboo.
  • 62. You've spent more time on the island since 1990 than any of the Taiwanese you know.
  • 63. The last few vacations you've had have been around Taiwan on company outings.
  • 64. You've used up more than one phone card on local calls.
  • 65. Locals are surprised to find out you can't vote in the upcoming election.
  • 66. Your pets are bilingual.
  • 67. Pizza just doesn't taste right unless there's corn on it.
  • 68. Your preferred parking spot is on a sidewalk (and you get upset when someone else parks there).
  • 69. Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles.
  • 70. You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.
  • 71. Your job title has more than three words.
  • 72. You think the service in the restaurants isn't THAT bad.
  • 73. You serve Shaoshing wine at home.
  • 74. You're constantly the first on the elevator to hit the "door close" button.
  • 75. You start cutting off the gravel trucks.
  • 76.You prefer squat toilets.
  • 77.You think having a scooter would be fun.
  • 78.You eat squid on a stick.
  • 79.You no longer find those strange and humorous articles in the paper to send home.
  • 80.Your most commonly used Mandarin phrase is no longer "wo ting bu dong".
  • 81.Your answer to an "either/or" question is "yes".
  • 82.When the fashions in the stores look really hip.
  • 83.You're into Sumo on NHK.
  • 84.When chou tofu is no longer stinky.
  • 85.You go to a nice restaurant and look for the rice bowl to put your food in.
  • 86.You wish they had Lazy Susans in the middle of the tables at TGI Fridays.
  • 87.You spend more time driving ON the lines instead of in between them.
  • 88.You read books from back to front.
  • 89.You start to like Kaoliang brandy more than XO.
  • 90.You think packs of dogs are cute.
  • 91.You are on home leave and you say "hsie hsie" instead of thank you.
  • 92.You call it home.
  • 93.You're ready to name the betel nut as a nutritional supplement.
  • 94.You think that $3,000,000NT for a golf club membership is a steal.
  • 95.You drive like this all the time.
  • 96.You think the Taipei-Tamsui ferry is world class cruising.
  • 97.You think that Taiwan is really trying to protect endangered species.
  • 98.Your pinkie nail is over one inch long.
  • 99.You stop using spell check on your word processor.
  • 100.You buy round trip air tickets from Taipei.
  • 101.You are worried when you DON'T see the soldiers on a bridge.
  • 102.You think that ICRT is quality radio.
  • 103.You tell the taxi drivers to hurry up.
  • 104.You think your nose IS kind of big.
  • 105.You hum along to the tunes in the taxi.
  • 106.You've left umbrellas in more than 3 resturants.
  • 107.You understand ICRT traffic reports.
  • 108.You keep stuffed animals in your car.
  • 109.You think walking up Yangmingshan looks like fun.
  • 110.When US $4.00 is just about right for a cup of coffee.
  • 111.You can tell the difference between Spring rain, the Plum rain, and the rainy season.
  • 112.The last time you visited your mother you presented her with your business card.
  • 113.The latest you can stay out is 11:30 pm, even on a weekend.
  • 114.You can tell, just by looking, which moon cake has the egg in it.
  • 115.You're getting allergic to fresh air.
  • 116.You get used to being waken up by the "dump-truck tune" instead of a clock.
  • 117.Cable TV reminds you of boring commercials and stock market advisories.
  • 118.Everything you own is pirated.
  • 119.You start to treat your scooter like a spouse.
  • 120.You get used to the habit of not paying any tips while traveling.
  • 121.Your first reaction in buying things is to ask for discounts.
  • 122.Your first reaction in hearing the national anthem is to think of the Chinese elementary school.
  • 123.You get addicted to MSG.
  • 124.You get dogdoophobia -- the fear of stepping on dog doo when walking around.
  • 125.You say "Wei?" instead of "Hello?" when you pick up the phone.
  • 126.The red light is merely suggestive to you.
  • 127.You talk on your cellular phone, play Tetris, smoke, and chew betel nuts, all at the same time.
  • 128.You always ask your best friend back home when he's going to get a motorcycle.
  • 129.You greet people by inspecting whatever they're carrying or telling them how fat they've gotten.
  • 130.You can no longer tell the difference between a burp and the hiccups, a cracker and a cookie, or toast and bread.
  • 131.You're on a first name basis with the staff at the local KTV.
  • 132. The perfect date ends at an MTV.
Compiled from internet:
http://www.necessaryprose.com/toolongif.htm
http://ottoatm.blogspot.com/2007/10/you-know-youve-been-in-taiwan-too-long.html